Orgasms

Fascinating little deaths. Those delightful spasms that have so many layers and take us away from ourselves for exquisite moments. Every time is unique. But what is it that drives us to them?

Back in the real world, an orgasm is not far off from the mechanisms of a sneeze. So why does an orgasm have mystical qualities? Is it the triumph of the body over the mind? Animal instinct over the intellect? There are other moments when our body’s power overcomes all thought, memory and logic and instil us with a sense of wonder. What just happened? Where am I? Who am I? (maybe less so with a sneeze). The contractions of labour bring home the power of uncontrollable life-force more than any other physical sensation, but the orgasm does too, in a more delicate and far less painful way.

It is, undoubtedly, a man’s urge for that feeling that tends to keep me in business. I think it was Tyberius who claimed that women’s pleasure was greater. That may be so, but the male urge is stronger. Not all men of course, there are those, with more tantric leanings who enjoy the pure sensuality of touch and build up. However, the male orgasm is, in our culture, the commonly understood goal and finale of most sexual encounters. A very good female friend of mine, who only has sex with women was asked how lesbians knew when sex was over, because women’s pleasure can be limitless when things are going well. The fact that she was asked this question really, illustrates this point.

It’s also that moment of coming back to earth which is precious. I was keeping a note of some of the funnier phrases. I remember Neil in Men Behaving Badly exclaiming ‘Bananarama’ in his throes of passion. I’ve heard a few - ‘that’s fucking ridiculous.’ and more recently ‘You sexy bastard.’ which cracked me up, and of course ‘Jesus often gets a mention. Anyway i’ve lost the notes but happy to hear about any that you’ve heard or use yourselves. I’ll create a lexicon.

So those are a few thoughts on orgasms and incidentally, my lesbian fried gave the following answer, ‘we know we are finished when somebody gets up to feed the cat.’